(no subject)

[myschyf]

Ew. Ewewewewew. Ew!

Clean films is a company that edits movies for "offensive content". From the site:

We take out profanity and other offensive language. We also remove nudity, sexual situations, and extreme or gory violence. Our intent is to edit movies so that they become comparable to a PG rating, which often means that we will edit out content that the networks might leave in when they show the same movie on TV.

They offer movies like Zoolander, Gangs of New York, Enemy At The Gates, and Braveheart.

Let's see...weren't Gangs of New York & Braveheart three hour movies? They'll probably each be about twenty minutes long when the cleansing is done.

I'm *really* tempted to do the free trial thing and get Braveheart, just to see how bad it is. But, I think I'll be able to restrain myself.:)

Also from the site:

The motion picture studios, directors, and producers of the unedited version were not involved in the creation of the content-edited version contained on CleanFilms DVD’s. Accordingly, the content-edited version of the movies which CleanFilms carries may not reflect the intent of the motion picture studios, directors, and producers.

In other words, "we've probably changed the movies completely and they're probably really hard to follow now that we've taken out so much, but every time you say fuck it makes the baby Jesus cry, so suck it up and move on".

But, there are some they won't edit. Again, from the site:

Q.

Are there any movies that you won't offer as E-Rated rentals?
A.

Yes. There are some movies that we will not have edited or offer for rental due to the overall theme or number of required edits. This includes:

Addicted To Love
American History X
Analyze This
Basic Instinct
Blair Witch Project
Caddyshack
Election
Eyes Wide Shut
Gross Pointe Blank
Hannibal
Liar Liar
Payback
Pretty Woman
Primary Colors
Return Of The Dragon
Rounders
Show Girls
Silence of the Lambs
The Story Of Us

The Story Of Us? It's the story of two people who've been married for fifteen years, break up, live apart while their kids are in summer camp and then decide that they do want to be together after all.

That movie need too much editing for their purposes, but Braveheart and Gangs Of New York worked out okay?

What flavor crack are these people *on*?

*Edited to fix links. Everything should work now*
*Edited to remove IMDB links, 'cause things are acting odd*

Comments

[aiglet.livejournal.com]

Did you know that your link for "The Story of Us" goes to a "Download 500 free smilies" ad?

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, it doesn't go anywhere for me. In the process of editing it now.:) (It was supposed to go to IMDB...I copied it right out of the address bar. Very weird.)

Gessi

[aiglet.livejournal.com]

No worries, I thought it was cute. :) Looks like the one you picked up had a doubleclick ad bit in front of it rather than just going to IMDB straight. :)

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Apparently, the doubleclick part of the link is essential now, 'cause I tried taking it off, and got a "page not found" at IMDB. Vexing. So, I removed the Imdb links, 'cause I think everyone who reads my journal is smart enough to do a search on hir own if sie *really* wants to read a bit about the movies I mentioned.:)

Thanks for the heads up, though. I do appreciate it.

Gessi, basically bemused.

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

Does this mean they've edited Southpark, the Movie?

[from.livejournal.com]

Here's a sample:

Shut your fishing face, uncle fisher
you're a haddock-salmon-herring uncle fisher!
you're an uncle farmer, yes it's true,
nobody farms uncles quite like you.

Shut your foody face, uncle feeder,
you're the one that fed your uncle, uncle feeder!
you don't eat or picnic on the lawn,
you just fry your uncle all day long.

Uncle fearer, uncle fencer, uncle fender,
uncle fetcher, uncle fighter,
shut your flapping face, uncle flapper,
you're an indicating lightbulb, uncle flasher.
you're an uncle flyer I must say-- you flew your uncle yesterday!
haha, uncle forger, that's U. N. K. L. E,
for you... uncle f<bleeeeep>

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

*snrch* Good thing I put down my fork before reading this.

[murnkay.livejournal.com]

Actually, the fun part of this is - if they don't have permission from the studio to edit the mnovies anbd they make money off it them at all what they are doing is illegal.

Pick Braveheart. Buy a copy. Print out the site. Call the studip. Make some trouble.

Enemy at the Gates

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Let me get this straight.. they removed the violence from a film about the battle of Stalingrad? A fo\ilm aboit two snipers? What the hell is left? The little that is left has no context at all.

Re: Enemy at the Gates

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

We had the same thought two minutes apart. ;)

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

They can't edit Caddyshack, but can edit "Enemy at the Gates," which was about snipers in the siege of St. Petersburg?

[pamamama.livejournal.com]

this is so funny, as well as your comments to accompany the FAQs. :) LOL!

I have had a few clients speak highly of this service. Of course, many people would much rather have their children see gratuitous violence over a boob or a makeout scene anyday. Crazy, I'm the exact opposite - violence is something that isn't naturally occurring in our lives. Boobs and kisses, well...that's encouraged!

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I think violence *is* naturally occurring, but it's shown in movies far more frequently, proportionately (and it's glamorized) compared to real life. And that's the problem. Some violence occurs as a reflection of popular culture, and perhaps if we tone it down in popular culture, we can tone it down in everyday life.

[pamamama.livejournal.com]

true, I just meant that violence wasn't naturally occurring in "our" lives (meaning, my family's life). :) We don't have TV aside from DVDs and videos, and we don't watch or listen to the news.

[kateadelle.livejournal.com]

I remember hearing about this company a while back. Apparently some of the studios and directors are suing them for violating copyright laws. I say good for them.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

random anecdote:

When WB showed "Pulp Fiction" on network TV, they attempted to edit out the sex and violence. Surprisingly, they did have a film at the end of it all. The scene where Vincent shoots Martin was apparently removed and replaced with a black screen, with a sound-alike for John Travolta saying "Oh, man! I just shot Marvin!".

[(Anonymous)]

Braveheart w/o violence would be like the Revolutionary War w/o the Battle of Bunker Hill...can't be done.

Hmmmmmmm ~ do you suppose they "can't/don't" have Pretty Woman and Analyze This cuz they really *like* 'em????? LOL...horror of horrors, closet profanity and violence fans among the Society of Cleansers.

Yer Mum 8^)