(no subject)

Spent most of the day in bed with a headache. Note, this is *not* the recommended way to get away from the world. Hell, I've *still* got most of the headache, but I got *really* bored. It has been tempered by ibuprofen(sp?) but I'll pick up some Excedrin Migraine when we're out today. This isn't actually a migraine, but that stuff helps like nothing else. I know its nothing more than aspirin injected with caffeine, but plain aspirin and a cup of coffee don't help the same way. Which is probably proof of a placebo effect, but I'm really not in the mood to fuck with that.

The car is done being fixed. *Woo-HOO*! This has all taken far too long, partially because we put it off so long and partially because...no, actually, it's really just the first reason.;)

Jeff took Sam and went to deposit Mum's check and get a cashier's check for the body shop, but was told we'd need to wait a day for it to completely clear. Ok, no biggie, we can do that today, and pick the car up *Early* Monday morning, 'cause apparently body-shopping is so lucrative that they don't have to stay open weekends, not even to take the money.:). But, on the odd side, when we checked later to see what money we had laying around, not only was the check credited to our account (logical), but the full amount was *available*. I'll never understand banks.

I'm feeling...good on one hand, because all of this is done and it'll be nice to have the car back...but there's an underlying tinge of melancholy and a dollop of intense sadness.

Part of this has to do with the horrific fight Jeff and I had yesterday morning. My anger seems to be getting the best of me, after being so tamped down for so long. I have to learn to deal with my "new" range of emotions, and fast. Maybe it really is time to look for a therapist. I don't know if I actually will...things worked out quite badly *last* time I was in therapy and while I have a couple dear friends who are/studying in that field, and scads more who have been helped by the profession...I just don't know if I'm ready.

I know I'm depressed...I think it may be getting better...and its nowhere near as bad as the Depression Years ('86-97), but I've got to do a lot more about it, because I don't want to fuck up daughtergirl. I know that no one gets out of childhood without being at least a little fucked up, but I want to prevent as much as possible.

I'm going to try to get out of the house more often, even if it's nothing more than a walk 'round the cul-de-sac. And, having the library down the street is a big help...or would be if I ever got it together enough to go there. At least I'll have a use for the whopping huge stroller the in-laws gave us.

More later...Sammy just got down from the bed, where she and Jeff were sleeping (well, Jeff was attempting to sleep and Sam was playing and working very hard to *not* sleep), crawled down the hall, "HI!"ing all the way and summoned me from my writing.

(no subject)

Spent most of the day in bed with a headache. Note, this is *not* the recommended way to get away from the world. Hell, I've *still* got most of the headache, but I got *really* bored. It has been tempered by ibuprofen(sp?) but I'll pick up some Excedrin Migraine when we're out today. This isn't actually a migraine, but that stuff helps like nothing else. I know its nothing more than aspirin injected with caffeine, but plain aspirin and a cup of coffee don't help the same way. Which is probably proof of a placebo effect, but I'm really not in the mood to fuck with that.

The car is done being fixed. *Woo-HOO*! This has all taken far too long, partially because we put it off so long and partially because...no, actually, it's really just the first reason.;)

Jeff took Sam and went to deposit Mum's check and get a cashier's check for the body shop, but was told we'd need to wait a day for it to completely clear. Ok, no biggie, we can do that today, and pick the car up *Early* Monday morning, 'cause apparently body-shopping is so lucrative that they don't have to stay open weekends, not even to take the money.:). But, on the odd side, when we checked later to see what money we had laying around, not only was the check credited to our account (logical), but the full amount was *available*. I'll never understand banks.

I'm feeling...good on one hand, because all of this is done and it'll be nice to have the car back...but there's an underlying tinge of melancholy and a dollop of intense sadness.

Part of this has to do with the horrific fight Jeff and I had yesterday morning. My anger seems to be getting the best of me, after being so tamped down for so long. I have to learn to deal with my "new" range of emotions, and fast. Maybe it really is time to look for a therapist. I don't know if I actually will...things worked out quite badly *last* time I was in therapy and while I have a couple dear friends who are/studying in that field, and scads more who have been helped by the profession...I just don't know if I'm ready.

I know I'm depressed...I think it may be getting better...and its nowhere near as bad as the Depression Years ('86-97), but I've got to do a lot more about it, because I don't want to fuck up daughtergirl. I know that no one gets out of childhood without being at least a little fucked up, but I want to prevent as much as possible.

I'm going to try to get out of the house more often, even if it's nothing more than a walk 'round the cul-de-sac. And, having the library down the street is a big help...or would be if I ever got it together enough to go there. At least I'll have a use for the whopping huge stroller the in-laws gave us.

More later...Sammy just got down from the bed, where she and Jeff were sleeping (well, Jeff was attempting to sleep and Sam was playing and working very hard to *not* sleep), crawled down the hall, "HI!"ing all the way and summoned me from my writing.