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I love my daughter, more than I can possibly say. So I don't say this to her, but *wow* do I think it.
She thinks she's being sneaky, when actually, she sounds like a baby elephant in tap shoes.
I'll send her upstairs to get a pair of socks, tell her exactly where they are and ask her to come right back down.
Five seconds later I hear her playing in her room.
"Samantha, get your socks and come down!"
"I am looking for them."
"Well, you won't find them in your room, they're in the Target bag at the bottom of your bed" (which is in our bedroom)
"I *AM* in the bedroom"
"No, you're not. Get your socks and let's get going."
*thumpthumpthump* (This is her trying to quietly walk to the bedroom)
"Did you find them?"
*nothing*
*Bedsprings squeaking*
"Samantha Frances, stop jumping on your bed and get your damn socks!"
*silence*
"I was *Looking* for my socks!"
"No, you were jumping on your bed."
"I not *on* my bed!"
*THUMP* as she gets off the bed (I really don't know how she makes quite as much noise as she does...she weighs thirty-five pounds)
"Now you're off the bed."
"I was not *ON* da bed."
"Yes you were, now come on."
*thumpthump*THUMP*thump*THUMP*
"No playing on the stairs, kiddo."
"I am going boombie-butt!" (sliding down the stairs on her bottom)
"Boombie doesn't make that much noise."
"Yes it does!"
"Why do you even bother lying to me? I haven't recently gone deaf nor has my memory been wiped."
It took me a long time to realize that my mom didn't have superpowers (beyond the usual parent ones *grin*) I was just dumb, loud and predictable.
~~~
Dear famous people who are completely set on getting plastic surgery so no one knows they're actually over 21,
First, when you talk, your forehead is *Supposed* to move. When it doesn't, you look weird.
Second, when you smile, your cheeks aren't supposed to stay still. This makes you look scary.
Third, people don't suddenly grow marvelous cheekbones when they hit fifty. If you didn't have them yesterday and do today, please don't tell people that you haven't had any cosmetic surgery. This makes you look stupid.
Fourth, too much collagen in your lips makes you look like a demented fish.
Fifth, if you're really gonna do this, do your neck as well. A frighteningly smooth face and a neck that resembles crepe are a creepy combination.
Sixth, stop making your noses skinnier. In 99.9% of cases, this makes the rest of your features seem out of proportion and your face just look wrong.
Seventh, you're not fooling anyone. Probably not even yourselves.
~~~
I don't have anything against reconstructive surgery (I think it's marvelous). I don't have a problem with people correcting problems they see, as long as they're under a therapists care as well, to make sure the surgery won't become an addiction and a "cure" rather than something to do to make the person one sees in the mirror match the person one sees in the mind's eye.
But people get old. Faces move and that causes lines and wrinkles. Paying thousands of dollars to try to prevent that is, frankly, silly and doesn't work. Well, the lines are gone, but, in so many cases, so is the beauty, individuality and realness. Too expensive. And one good sneeze can bring it all tumbling down. ;)
~~~
Actress Diane Keaton has joined a steering group trying to save Los Angeles' famous Ambassador Hotel landmark from demolition. Members of America's powerful Kennedy family are urging city officials to bulldoze the defunct property, because it's where Robert Kennedy was shot dead in 1968 - and harbors only painful memories. But Keaton insists Los Angeles School District bosses, who own the hotel, should consider developing around the 83-year-old hotel and keeping parts for historical significance. The actress, who is a director of the Los Angeles Conservancy group, says, "We in Los Angeles are so guilty of wiping out our history. The Ambassador Hotel is the history of Los Angeles... We have to fight for this." Keaton is particularly keen on redeveloping the famous Ambassador nightclub The Coconut Grove, where Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby used to perform, and the study, where F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote The Great Gatsby. But Los Angeles city official Tom LaBonge feels Keaton and her historians are destined to lose their fight because the Kennedys really want the hotel pulled down. He says, "I don't think the conservancy realized the family didn't want that as a memorial. I don't think they realized the depth of the family's feelings."
Well, it's good to know that one family's wishes are more important than everyone else's. Does this mean that the families of Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby and Fitzgerald can get together and save the hotel? Oh, that probably won't make much difference...last time I looked, they didn't have much political pull.
~~~
The Who's "You Better, You Bet" is a great song to dance to. It's one of those where the beat just takes me along with it.
I wonder which CSI would use this as a theme...
~~~
I love Margaret Cho
~~~
I never, *ever* should have mentioned that Sammy was good while I was sleeping. Nevernevernever. 'Cause she's being a complete and utter beast right now. Maybe I should go back to napping. :b
~~~
Absentee voting is so reassuring. I know I've done it, I know I sent it in and it's done. Quite nice.
~~~
She thinks she's being sneaky, when actually, she sounds like a baby elephant in tap shoes.
I'll send her upstairs to get a pair of socks, tell her exactly where they are and ask her to come right back down.
Five seconds later I hear her playing in her room.
"Samantha, get your socks and come down!"
"I am looking for them."
"Well, you won't find them in your room, they're in the Target bag at the bottom of your bed" (which is in our bedroom)
"I *AM* in the bedroom"
"No, you're not. Get your socks and let's get going."
*thumpthumpthump* (This is her trying to quietly walk to the bedroom)
"Did you find them?"
*nothing*
*Bedsprings squeaking*
"Samantha Frances, stop jumping on your bed and get your damn socks!"
*silence*
"I was *Looking* for my socks!"
"No, you were jumping on your bed."
"I not *on* my bed!"
*THUMP* as she gets off the bed (I really don't know how she makes quite as much noise as she does...she weighs thirty-five pounds)
"Now you're off the bed."
"I was not *ON* da bed."
"Yes you were, now come on."
*thumpthump*THUMP*thump*THUMP*
"No playing on the stairs, kiddo."
"I am going boombie-butt!" (sliding down the stairs on her bottom)
"Boombie doesn't make that much noise."
"Yes it does!"
"Why do you even bother lying to me? I haven't recently gone deaf nor has my memory been wiped."
It took me a long time to realize that my mom didn't have superpowers (beyond the usual parent ones *grin*) I was just dumb, loud and predictable.
~~~
Dear famous people who are completely set on getting plastic surgery so no one knows they're actually over 21,
First, when you talk, your forehead is *Supposed* to move. When it doesn't, you look weird.
Second, when you smile, your cheeks aren't supposed to stay still. This makes you look scary.
Third, people don't suddenly grow marvelous cheekbones when they hit fifty. If you didn't have them yesterday and do today, please don't tell people that you haven't had any cosmetic surgery. This makes you look stupid.
Fourth, too much collagen in your lips makes you look like a demented fish.
Fifth, if you're really gonna do this, do your neck as well. A frighteningly smooth face and a neck that resembles crepe are a creepy combination.
Sixth, stop making your noses skinnier. In 99.9% of cases, this makes the rest of your features seem out of proportion and your face just look wrong.
Seventh, you're not fooling anyone. Probably not even yourselves.
~~~
I don't have anything against reconstructive surgery (I think it's marvelous). I don't have a problem with people correcting problems they see, as long as they're under a therapists care as well, to make sure the surgery won't become an addiction and a "cure" rather than something to do to make the person one sees in the mirror match the person one sees in the mind's eye.
But people get old. Faces move and that causes lines and wrinkles. Paying thousands of dollars to try to prevent that is, frankly, silly and doesn't work. Well, the lines are gone, but, in so many cases, so is the beauty, individuality and realness. Too expensive. And one good sneeze can bring it all tumbling down. ;)
~~~
Actress Diane Keaton has joined a steering group trying to save Los Angeles' famous Ambassador Hotel landmark from demolition. Members of America's powerful Kennedy family are urging city officials to bulldoze the defunct property, because it's where Robert Kennedy was shot dead in 1968 - and harbors only painful memories. But Keaton insists Los Angeles School District bosses, who own the hotel, should consider developing around the 83-year-old hotel and keeping parts for historical significance. The actress, who is a director of the Los Angeles Conservancy group, says, "We in Los Angeles are so guilty of wiping out our history. The Ambassador Hotel is the history of Los Angeles... We have to fight for this." Keaton is particularly keen on redeveloping the famous Ambassador nightclub The Coconut Grove, where Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby used to perform, and the study, where F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote The Great Gatsby. But Los Angeles city official Tom LaBonge feels Keaton and her historians are destined to lose their fight because the Kennedys really want the hotel pulled down. He says, "I don't think the conservancy realized the family didn't want that as a memorial. I don't think they realized the depth of the family's feelings."
Well, it's good to know that one family's wishes are more important than everyone else's. Does this mean that the families of Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby and Fitzgerald can get together and save the hotel? Oh, that probably won't make much difference...last time I looked, they didn't have much political pull.
~~~
The Who's "You Better, You Bet" is a great song to dance to. It's one of those where the beat just takes me along with it.
I wonder which CSI would use this as a theme...
~~~
I love Margaret Cho
~~~
I never, *ever* should have mentioned that Sammy was good while I was sleeping. Nevernevernever. 'Cause she's being a complete and utter beast right now. Maybe I should go back to napping. :b
~~~
Absentee voting is so reassuring. I know I've done it, I know I sent it in and it's done. Quite nice.
~~~