And then, I cried.

I was doing *really* well...I know the...what *do* we call them? They're not really bombings...but crashes makes them sound like accidents...explosions, I guess. Anyway, I know that they were truly horrific and terrifying...but I also know that a lot of fucked up stuff happens in this world, and a lot of it is of an explosive nature. I felt angry that it had happened, but detached. And, when watching the planes fly into the towers, and the explosions/fires, some small part of my brain went "Wow...how'd they make that look so real?" (Television generation 2.0. :b)

So, I was doing ok. Watched way too much news and tried not to think about the fact that Jeff had been very, very near the Pentagon twenty-four or so hours before that particular explosion. Was glad that Sam didn't know what was going on, 'cause I have no idea how to *begin* explaining things like this to her, let alone something that was happening as I was trying to explain.

Jeff got home and we talked for a bit, then D called, which helped *immensely* (Thank you, hon.:) Then the signal died...a lot. This could have been a case of too many people/too many phone calls. Dunno.

Sent Jeff to bed around eleven, got Sam to sleep and in the swing. And I was doing *ok*, dammit.

Then I heard about a man who had been trapped on one of the high floors in on of the towers. He knew he wasn't going to make it...and he had a cell phone. So, he called home to tell his wife how much he loved her and how much he regretted not being able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Dammit. I really was doing ok.

And then, I cried.

I was doing *really* well...I know the...what *do* we call them? They're not really bombings...but crashes makes them sound like accidents...explosions, I guess. Anyway, I know that they were truly horrific and terrifying...but I also know that a lot of fucked up stuff happens in this world, and a lot of it is of an explosive nature. I felt angry that it had happened, but detached. And, when watching the planes fly into the towers, and the explosions/fires, some small part of my brain went "Wow...how'd they make that look so real?" (Television generation 2.0. :b)

So, I was doing ok. Watched way too much news and tried not to think about the fact that Jeff had been very, very near the Pentagon twenty-four or so hours before that particular explosion. Was glad that Sam didn't know what was going on, 'cause I have no idea how to *begin* explaining things like this to her, let alone something that was happening as I was trying to explain.

Jeff got home and we talked for a bit, then D called, which helped *immensely* (Thank you, hon.:) Then the signal died...a lot. This could have been a case of too many people/too many phone calls. Dunno.

Sent Jeff to bed around eleven, got Sam to sleep and in the swing. And I was doing *ok*, dammit.

Then I heard about a man who had been trapped on one of the high floors in on of the towers. He knew he wasn't going to make it...and he had a cell phone. So, he called home to tell his wife how much he loved her and how much he regretted not being able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Dammit. I really was doing ok.