(no subject)

[myschyf]

Home. Miserable about it. I know this was the right thing to do, especially since my cold is getting worse. But knowing you did the right thing doesn't always make living with it easy.

I feel, irrationally or not, that I'm abandoning both Charlie and Jeff, that I'm giving up and giving in, and that I'm not going to see the baby in the flesh again. That they'll keep her forever and I'll just see pictures. Like I sponsored a kid in another country or something.

I may have been more of a wreck yesterday...but then, today is only half over. Jeff's gone to get tissues for me (the one thing we forgot to get last night) and then he'll go back to B'more. I feel like I'm faking, just to come home. The coughing and nose-blowing make my cold evident to everyone but the section of the brain reserved for self-loathing.

I don't know how we'll get through this. I know we will, because we've gotten through some stuff that was even suckier (the list is short, but there were a few things that were worse than this situation) and lived to tell the tale. But this road is so long and twisted, and there are no signs telling us when it ends, or at least joins another road that's shorter and not so full of potholes.

The hospital shill social worker said she'd call this morning about the transfer, and she hasn't. Jeff called and got her voice mail. Yeah, I have so much confidence in her.

Comments

[jenny_evergreen]

*provides shoulder*

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs you warmly* You know there's no place you'd rather be than with them; you're not because you're being senssible in the face of a cold, not because you're abandoning them.

*hugs you again*

[strixluna.livejournal.com]

((((big hugs))))

[ororo.livejournal.com]

eep and hugs.

[wolfette]

{{{{{hugs}}}}

and {{hugs}} to baby too.

[kightp.livejournal.com]

You feel what you feel, honey, but do try to stop beating yourself up. You need to get better, and you need some rest. Incompetent although the social workers and administrators may be, Charlie's in good *medical* hands, and Jeff will look out for you all.

*hugs*

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}}

Hang in there.........

[daysinger.livejournal.com]

I just spent the last 30 minutes reading your entire ordeal with beautiful baby Charlie for the past month. I know it's excruciating to be away from her, but know that she's in good hands and you WILL see her, she will be yours and home in your arms. Thanks for posting the lovely pictures of your family. You deserve only happiness. Get some rest, your whole family will be better for it.

[aumonae.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I don't say this as often as I might, but, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

If I'm up to it, and can find something appropriate, would you like me to perform a ritual or journey on your (collective) behalf?

[beki.livejournal.com]

*snugs* You will get through it, and yeah I know all about it sucking when you can't do much about it. You will get her back, and there is nothing wrong with setting a dead line to call and tell whomever that they said they'd call you back with whatever answer. The squeaky wheel will get the grease.