Oh, honey, you know I love the boob feeding but HOLY MOLEY - it was so, so, so hard for me to get paloma on it when she was in the NICU for 3 weeks - it was almost another whole month once she came home - and I had another baby at home + a 2 year old to keep up my supply!! I can't even imagine putting the effort into it that you did, and you DO have a bond with her, and you were THERE for her when she wasn't at home with you and she is big and juicy and healthy and brilliant. Don't sweat it! Don't!!!