(no subject)

My mom figured out the thing that was bothering me most about the whole G-tube debacle. They were pushing it so hard because it would make life easier for *them*. Not us and certainly not Charlie. I can't believe I didn't see it at the time and call them on it. They said, flat out, that she wasn't eating enough. They also said that the nurses don't have time to feed her on demand. Logic would say "Then perhaps you should return her to her parents, who do have the time", but their reasoning was "Let's cut a hole in her stomach where one absolutely doesn't need to be". And dear ghods did they push for it. There were four doctors, a nurse and the hospital shill social worker there for this little conversation, with each of them putting in bits and pieces here and there, telling us what a mondo fabuloso idea it was.

The whole thing makes me furious. There are certainly people, including infant-type people who need G-tubes. But anyone with a working brain can tell that Charlie isn't one of them. Hell, Jeff was there for two of her feedings today, and she took either 2/3 or 3/4 of her food each time. Also, as my mom pointed out, when you're feeding a baby at home, one hardly ever knows/keeps track of exactly how much the baby's eating. Is she happy? Is she wetting her diapers often? Is she energetic and hitting her developmental marks in a reasonable time frame? And, is she gaining weight? If so, then she just might be eating enough.

I know, I keep going on about this, when it absolutely isn't happening. But I'm still appalled that they would advocate something invasive like this on a tiny child. She weighed eleven pounds, two ounces on Friday (which is a gain of ten ounces since the previous weigh-in), which is less than my backpack typically weighs. And they could apparently push for this and *still* be able to sleep peacefully afterward. I just don't get it. And if they're doing that to us, what else are they doing to make their lives easier, with little regard for the infants involved?

The more I think about it, the more depressing it becomes. Especially since I know there's nothing that can be done to stop them. I'm not sure one can even file a complaint against doctors for making a bad suggestion, if one doesn't take the advice. It would be put down to a difference of opinion or something like that.

When I was in the hospital after having Charlie, one of my doctors said something like "I get the feeling you don't trust the medical establishment much" and I allowed that this was true. I could tell she wanted me to explain this, but not only was it none of her business (and she's an OBGYN, not a psychiatrist), it would have taken far, far too long to explain. And now, it'll take even longer.

I really hope that once Charlie's sprung, her pediatrician is a really good doctor who *listens* and cares about the kids in her care. 'Cause I'll keep fighting for what's right for my kids, but I'm pretty damn exhausted. If she turns out to be a jerk, I might not be able to stop myself from kicking her before we sweep out of the office. (The pediatrician is already in place, but we haven't met. We picked her out from a list on the insurance's website, then did some searches on her, then Jeff called and explained about the Stenosis.)

Why yes, I do have too much time to think right now. I don't sleep well when Jeff's not here (luckily, this is a newish thing, 'cause I never would have survived if I'd had this problem when he was working midnight to eight), and I also have a problem making myself go to bed. I come up with the best excuses. :) But, I think it's time for a nap now, especially as I seem to be at the end of my nine thousand sneezes in a row.

(no subject)

My mom figured out the thing that was bothering me most about the whole G-tube debacle. They were pushing it so hard because it would make life easier for *them*. Not us and certainly not Charlie. I can't believe I didn't see it at the time and call them on it. They said, flat out, that she wasn't eating enough. They also said that the nurses don't have time to feed her on demand. Logic would say "Then perhaps you should return her to her parents, who do have the time", but their reasoning was "Let's cut a hole in her stomach where one absolutely doesn't need to be". And dear ghods did they push for it. There were four doctors, a nurse and the hospital shill social worker there for this little conversation, with each of them putting in bits and pieces here and there, telling us what a mondo fabuloso idea it was.

The whole thing makes me furious. There are certainly people, including infant-type people who need G-tubes. But anyone with a working brain can tell that Charlie isn't one of them. Hell, Jeff was there for two of her feedings today, and she took either 2/3 or 3/4 of her food each time. Also, as my mom pointed out, when you're feeding a baby at home, one hardly ever knows/keeps track of exactly how much the baby's eating. Is she happy? Is she wetting her diapers often? Is she energetic and hitting her developmental marks in a reasonable time frame? And, is she gaining weight? If so, then she just might be eating enough.

I know, I keep going on about this, when it absolutely isn't happening. But I'm still appalled that they would advocate something invasive like this on a tiny child. She weighed eleven pounds, two ounces on Friday (which is a gain of ten ounces since the previous weigh-in), which is less than my backpack typically weighs. And they could apparently push for this and *still* be able to sleep peacefully afterward. I just don't get it. And if they're doing that to us, what else are they doing to make their lives easier, with little regard for the infants involved?

The more I think about it, the more depressing it becomes. Especially since I know there's nothing that can be done to stop them. I'm not sure one can even file a complaint against doctors for making a bad suggestion, if one doesn't take the advice. It would be put down to a difference of opinion or something like that.

When I was in the hospital after having Charlie, one of my doctors said something like "I get the feeling you don't trust the medical establishment much" and I allowed that this was true. I could tell she wanted me to explain this, but not only was it none of her business (and she's an OBGYN, not a psychiatrist), it would have taken far, far too long to explain. And now, it'll take even longer.

I really hope that once Charlie's sprung, her pediatrician is a really good doctor who *listens* and cares about the kids in her care. 'Cause I'll keep fighting for what's right for my kids, but I'm pretty damn exhausted. If she turns out to be a jerk, I might not be able to stop myself from kicking her before we sweep out of the office. (The pediatrician is already in place, but we haven't met. We picked her out from a list on the insurance's website, then did some searches on her, then Jeff called and explained about the Stenosis.)

Why yes, I do have too much time to think right now. I don't sleep well when Jeff's not here (luckily, this is a newish thing, 'cause I never would have survived if I'd had this problem when he was working midnight to eight), and I also have a problem making myself go to bed. I come up with the best excuses. :) But, I think it's time for a nap now, especially as I seem to be at the end of my nine thousand sneezes in a row.

(no subject)

So, they put the baby in the ambulance, started down the road and then, a while later, came back because the ambulance was "having mechanical problems". So, they're gonna try again tomorrow.

But, at least they let her out of the hospital. I wasn't fully expecting them to, y'know?

Once,I was chatting with a woman who's daughter was in the hospital as well. And she said "Oh, your second child. She must be the easy one". I did good...didn't fall over laughing hysterically or *anything*. Just explained that neither of my kids could be called easy, Charlie least of all.

Wouldn't trade a day for anything, of course. But it's become a saying around here. "Oh no, Charlie's the easy one" and variations thereof.

Thank goodness I've never expected easy from my offspring. :)

(no subject)

So, they put the baby in the ambulance, started down the road and then, a while later, came back because the ambulance was "having mechanical problems". So, they're gonna try again tomorrow.

But, at least they let her out of the hospital. I wasn't fully expecting them to, y'know?

Once,I was chatting with a woman who's daughter was in the hospital as well. And she said "Oh, your second child. She must be the easy one". I did good...didn't fall over laughing hysterically or *anything*. Just explained that neither of my kids could be called easy, Charlie least of all.

Wouldn't trade a day for anything, of course. But it's become a saying around here. "Oh no, Charlie's the easy one" and variations thereof.

Thank goodness I've never expected easy from my offspring. :)